Seems like the ex effect did change me in many ways . Then there were the exams which seem to have had their profound effect on me. Can't deny the hundreds of cigrettes and hundreds of those whiskey shots their fair share in this glorious disharmony in which i find myself. It seems like my hunger for philosophical knowledge grows by the day i yearn for good conversations mostly on a serious things but then even with all this i have a feeling that i am going away from the very basis which forms the " truth " People. i dont feel like striking any conversations whith them most of the time i have a feeling tht they dont see what i want to show them and end up getting entangled in the superficials. I get misinterpreted and misunderstood more often than not. Why do people look at life with the goggles of morals and values and the things that have been tought to them to be percieved. I mean can'y u tell what u feel like ?? or dont u have the balls to accpet wht u feel is the real thing ?? cant i feel like drunk ?? and if i do why do i do it or dont do it ? giving in , sorry i dont thing tht giving in the way i'd want to put it . Well what i mean is if i feel like doin sumthing and it doesnt harm anyone in anyway then why shud i b restrained from it ? Why should people percieve and make up opinions based on the mere irrelevencies of words ??? i thought actions spoke louder than words ... but i guess thats only on a sports field
Well i feel quite disgusted at the moment to think about how deeply did my ex affect me. I hate to admit it but she did change me in more ways than i should have let her .... but now i think i m stuck between two worlds the world of superficial things and the glossy coverpages, beneath which lies the rotten selfcentric and terribly moraless selfishness and the world where all of this exists but atleast no attempt is made to cover it and hence it gives a more realistic a more acceptable demeanor . I think my quest for the wisdom and the intricacies of human mind, the socio-psychological causanity has really made me go in circle. I find myself not believin in anything anymore i dont trust anything i dont know which the firm base on which to fall back upon . All seems to b so abstract and so pointless that i dont even care about anything or anyone anymore ...............................
wht the fuck is wrong with me ???????????
why the hell am i up at 2.48 am and riting this bull crap .... i think i need sum sleep
i think there is nothing in the world a good night's sleep cant cure i think richa was rite when she said i m diseased !!!!!!!!!
