Dark Side of the town

CHAPTER I


I walked into the small smoke filled room to find Meera plonked on a fluffy bean bag surrounded by the usual uptown magazines, cigarette butts and miniatures of an assortment of alcohol. I rolled my eyes. This wasn't the first time i had found her like that. I saw her bright red uniform with KF airline badge lying on the only chair available in the room. i picked it up folded it neatly and tucked it away in her cupboard." Hey that's the first time I am seeing u picking after me. U know its kinda nice once in a while when u do it. So how do u feel being me ? u know .." She said exhaling another cloud of smoke. " Stop it i pick up after myself u know when i need to and besides i needed the chair and i don't want you fussing over the press in the middle of the night." I quipped playing down the new found sense of responsibility.
I, met Meera at a restaurants. We had started going out after months of knowing each other. I guess we both needed the rebound. I was rebounding from a resignation and she was i guess always rebounding between boyfriends. She had recently moved in with me after moving back to Mumbai. We both were more friends than in a live-in. I guess both of us had had enough of clingy, commitment riddled involvements were more than happy to be in a best friends with benefits in a live-in relationship. Though she had been born in Mumbai Meera had lived more on a plane than under a roof for the past 6 years. As far as i was concerned i was more accustomed to living in the office as for the more than a decade an a half i had worked 14hours a day slept 4 drank for 2 hours and well u don't need to know about the other 4 hours of the day. Having quit my job recently i moved back to Mumbai, my home.

So coming back to that day. I threw my back pack in the corner of the room and snatched the cigarette out of Meera's hand and drew a long much awaited drag. Meera picked herself up brought a glass and poured a stiff one for me and asked " So Mr. I-wanna-break-from-work Socialworker how were your wanderings today ?? Where did you go exactly ? I cant even remember the name of the place?"
Well i went to Imam Wada. thinking not that it would have made any bells rings in her head but none the less i had to impress that my travel was more exotic than it really was.
"Yeah, right. So what about his Imam Wada did you really find what you had been looking for?"
Snatching a cigrette from a pack lying nearby i took my time to answer the question as the images and sound of the day flashed in front of my eyes. i rubbed my eyes carefully thinking how i was going to tell her all that had happened that day. I took a drag and started narrating.

Well it seems so strange that the more of the world you see around you the less you seem to understand it or far worse feel a part of it. Today i saw but a fraction of Mumbai but understood its soul. I walked the dingy lanes which were long forgotten, the people who we thought had ceased to exist but a hundred years ago. i realized that i MAZHI Mumabai is not MAZHI but AAPLi the Mumbai I call mine is not mine but ours.
"What the hell are you talking out ..." she interjected helping me snap out of my somber philosophical mood.
"Well sorry bout that ...."
"Its OK." she said
"As i had told you I walked outta the house today to experience something new. I seems like staying is the last thing i can manage these days. I had longed for the free air and bustling crowds. I don't really mind the sweat and the stench that bothers many including you. I am more of a common man. I felt this sudden rush of life you know. when you seem to have been caged for too long and suddenly let fly. I breathed free , i observed with a free mind i loved the most simple things today like the red color of the train bogeys I've never seen that read anywhere else. I wanted to feel free today i wanted to do things which i hadn't been able to do as a youngster living with his parents. I wanted to see and enjoy what i called the dark side of Mumbai !!!!

Where Do We Draw The Line

There are times when you stumble upon a song quite unexpected. And before the outro is played you've already been hit by a train. The hearts pounding and the breathe is erratic. The world is blurry with your mind rushing forward at break neck speed in an intellectual hyper-drive. These bits of musical expression rarely find the mass approval but that's not the point. Its inexplicable as to how a mirage of speeding images of what was, is and what never happened flashes before your eyes and all in a matter of 4 minutes.

Here is one of those songs ....

Its by Poets of the fall called where do we draw the line.
The video posted is from the Movie Twilight Though i only selected it cause it would probably appeal to the masses.




On your palm an endless wonder
Lines that speak the truth without a sound
In your eyes awaits the tireless hunger
Already looks for prey to run down

So why do we keep up this charade
How do we tell apart the time to leave from the time to wait

What does tomorrow want with me
What does it matter what I see
If it can't be my design
Tell me where do we draw the line

The dance of flames and shadows in the street
Make poetry nobody's ever heard
The weight of loneliness stands on your feet
The cage already there around the bird

So why don't we join the masquerade
Before it all falls apart before our love becomes in satiate

What does tomorrow want with me
What does it matter what I see
If I can't choose my own design
Tell me where do we draw the line

Where's the cooling wind
Where's the evergreen field
Where's my mother's open arms
Where's my father lion-heart
S'like the sun's gone down
Sleeps in the hallowed ground now
With the autumn's browns leaves
With the one who never grieves

What does tomorrow want with me
What does it matter what I see
If we all walk behind the blind
Tell me where do we draw the line

Whatever tomorrow wants from me
At least I'm here, at least I'm free
Free to choose to see the signs
This is my line

The Lost and Found .....

Today out of the blue a dear friend returned to me what I had thought to be lost forever. I realised the importance of what was lost as they say after I had lost it. It was a collection of a bunch of songs I had written a few years ago. Unfortunately I suffer from a writers shame. I cannot publish everything i write cause i am a little shy of these works and the feelings that they depict. By publishing them tonight i plan to overcome that feeling. ( I get really embarrassed if people who know me read any of my work. I manage a few compliments but it rarely does any good to the confidence.) Anyway here is to the first steps .... of my writing songs.

Disclaimer- this is the work of a 17 year old who has mirrored his state of mind through these half written songs .... bear with him as he bears the burden of being himself !!!



Do me a Favour
Do me a favour drop dead
Do me a favour end up in hell
Do it for me do it for the love
Hang urslef to dry thts wht I say

Ur sight makes me sick
Ur I m back sounds like a curse
I don’t wanna talk bout ur hopes and pain
I can do without u in my life

Ur breath turns to smoke
Ur hope ur death by a fast stroke
Dot disappoint me don’t jus survive
I m jus waiting for undertaker to arrive

Down in the coffin u look so beautiful
Eyes closed with flowers in hand
Reply


Say that you need me


Verse 1
I don’t know what I should do for her
Seems u to need no help
I’ve walked mile from my side
why does your mile seems jus one step

verse 2
I try to convice I’m conman
Pretending to be footloose
Hope u never believed what I said
But I’ll leave that for u to choose

Sometimes I get scared of holding u too close
Sometimes I feel I m holding too tight holding too long
Sometimes your body is all that I want

Verse 3
someday you’ll see the best in me
something tells me its gonna b soon
till that time hold me close to u
say that we can chase the moon

chorus
say that need me make me c the light
make me dance in the rain baby hold on tight






Heart of an atheist

Locked up inside me is the anger of a liar
Bound by the chains of humanity
Is the rage and fire of a faithless
Why do I lock myself in me feeling so hopeless
Why cant I notice the beauty of a full moon
I can c it travel across the window the night came so soon

In the heart of a faithless there seems no light
In the heart of an atheist there’s no hope alive

Is it just me or is the world which is going wrong
Y do I keep askin me the question why’s the feeling so strong?
An age seems to have passed since I was free
All I remember of it is the mountain and tree
All these doubts could my senses is this philosophy or insanity?????

So when the atheist decides to bow down against his will
The fight was in vain the point started out in him
Though his spirit doesn’t accept the defeated thoughts
The practical mind just arugues back wht treasures it bought
Torn in this fight of mind and matter

My Own Prison

Sitting here on my bed
The door locked behind me
With watery eyes, and pain
An age of anger bottled inside me

My own room
My own prison
My own feelings
Painted so crimson


Putting my self down for sake of peace
Fightin an enemy who’s so mine
I have to let it go but its breaking my spine


With a will that can crumble
I walk out with head held high
Facing the world, jus bout to stumble
My screams end in a sigh



I Feel Your Love


I like to walk in the dark
Cause no one can see me
I keep away from people
So tht no one can feel me
I don’t want you to tell
Am I right or wrong

They’ve pulled me down
They’ve kept me back
I used to be me
But now he’s gone

But then you came along
Like a cool mountain breeze
U melted my heart away
An all my pains they freeze

I feel your love
I still feel some pain
Stay long enough baby
I’m sure they’ll go away

I feel u here
Touch ur lips so warm
If we hold on together
I m sure We’ll sail thru the storm

I look into your eyes
An I know I’ve hurt you
Even if I beg u too hard
You wont kill me , will you ?


Am I holding too tight
Am I making u fight
That’s destiny for u…… my love


The last one was actually written to an ex girlfriend and its the closest to my heart and of all these songs written I missed it the most. Actually that is a really funny story but may be I'll write about it some other time.